justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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