what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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There once was a little girl called maddie who had a very earisponaceable daddy, she was taken from her bed and now she is dead and was raped by a Portuguese tranny

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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What did the judge say to the criminal? I sentence you to a life time of solitary confinement.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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What word starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? Fuck.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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