roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

A whole 'nother.

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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