When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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A man walks into a bar

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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