What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Black people having a Job.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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What did the dinosaur say to the koala? Nothing because the dinosaur is extinct and both of which cannot talk.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops