Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -14

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

thumb_up thumb_down -14

did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops