Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -12

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops