A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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i threw my line in the toilet the fishing was pretty shity that day

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He hurt himself.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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