Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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