What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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hello

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm... I mean, a worm in your apple ? "Then I took an arrow to the knee" jokes.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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