whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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