What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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