what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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