What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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