(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops