If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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I will create more jobs for americans

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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