Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops