What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...