Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Get on the boat.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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