When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

What was the color of the big lipped, struggling rap artist who violently raped and killed a young woman after robbing a convenience store at gunpoint? Red. He was covered in blood.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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