Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

My dog poops u pick it up if i poop ill say f@#% you eat it DumbS%^&

How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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