You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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