An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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