How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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My spelling is horrible

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Roger D. ASS , stops, has a ponder , and walks out of a s.t.i clinic ,without being seen

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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A zebra and a giraffe are out in a safari and they see some humans. And then the cow, was drinking, the man was milking the drink, when the giraffe was going to buy some milk. She said, the was yeah okay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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