Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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