Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...