steven hawking walks into a bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your best friend, and I'll always be there for you.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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David Cameron

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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