Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops