on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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