Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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