how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Roses are red, yup.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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