There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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kathryn atkins

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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