Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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