Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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guess what what ...

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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