What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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i hate non minorities!

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Charlie Sheen

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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