How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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