Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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