what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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