What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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* anti-punchline

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Men's rights

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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