What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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