A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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Chuck Norris.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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XD Jackass.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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