So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

A man wins 1 million dollars on the pokies. He goes home and tells his wife and kids about the big win. The next day the man goes go the casino and and loses the 1 million as he is addicted to gambling

knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because it felt like it, now mind your own business!

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

Niall Horan

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

What's worse than holocaust jokes? The Rwandam Genocide.

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

what did the jew say to the other jew in WWII?..... "We're both going to die."

If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

why did the girl cross the road? no one knows because she was hit with a car and died on impact.

What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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