A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Tim likes girls

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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