How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes? Irish sunglasses

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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