Haha, I get it..

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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Why didn't the boy get a bike for christmas? He broke the bath tub.

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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