What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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