Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom. Whats worse than a pile of dead babies with one alive at the bottom? It having to eat its way out. Whats worse than it having to eat its way out? It comes back for seconds.

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.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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