The diamond one below is hilarious.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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