Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

Why does austin bell like it up the butt? Cause he's a cat a kitty cat meow meow meow and meow meow meow

Dislike if you are a prostitute

Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

What happened to the man taking a shit? An unfortunate drop of water splashed back onto his arse

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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