Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Why did the chicken cross the road ( The chicken says) I dream of a world where a chicken can cross the road without having morals questioned.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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