Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Yes

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops