Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Robin, get in the car!

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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