A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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sky silverstein

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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