How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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poo

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops