If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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