- Anti Joke

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

what do you do when you see a black man limping across your frontyard? you stop laughing an reload.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops