A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Boys and girls, I only have a few seconds left, and I am going to take these few seconds and teach you.... the longest story in the Universe! You may think this show is all fun and games, but you are in school! And this is an educational program! And there will be a test! And you will be graded on that test! And that grade will go on your permanent record! And your permanent record will follow you around for the rest of your life!!! So, you better pay attention. It goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. 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All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." An

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Atheism

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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