Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops