What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

Jovan

Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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