Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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Which deranged adventurer thinks that (one`s unprotected cranium) is stronger than (a brick structure) Mario. he keeps bashing his head on blocks in attempts to prove his own worth

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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