Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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