-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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The foreskin of a baby gorilla

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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What did the black man get his mom for Mother's Day? Some jewelry and a very nice card.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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