what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was stressed & having alot of financial, mental and physical problems so he crossed the road in hope to kill himself. And he did he got ran over by a car, may his soul rest in peace.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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