Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

thumb_up thumb_down +16

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops