Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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Why did the girl drop her cookie? She had no arms.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops