two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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How many policemen does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat up the room for being black

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Whats green? The color green.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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How come Billy can only swim in circles? His right arm and right leg were amputated because he scraped his left arm.

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What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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