What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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