Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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A man said to his friend that he looks like his mom died. the other man started to cry due to the fact that it was acctually his dad

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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