See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

A whole 'nother.

Two Pigs are in a bath. One pig says to the other "pass me the soap", to which the other pig replies "Do I look like a typewriter?"

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

PENIS

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

Why does a squirel swim on his back? Because it was trying to keep his nuts clean

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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